Facts about Farts

After along time, again a thought compelled me to write down something at this late hour. We always give a deaf ear when some one talks about Farts. Yes I am talking about Farting. Even a deaf person cannot escape from a Fart. Probably he could escape from the audible sound but not from the stinking smell. It is indeed funny how we find the act of farting so embarrassing despite knowing that each and every person including us farts every now and then. We never admit that we farted in the public.

 

Some Facts about Farts are :

• Farts are indeed Flammable. So Beware when you are farting near fire or some where in your chemistry lab.
• An Average person will fart 14 times a day and can produce about half a liter gas per day. Really? I am a below average person then. Imagine all your colleagues around you are above average  performers in farting. Competition Boss Competition. Imagine people running their bikes/cars with their own natural gas. How green it would be?
• A person can still fart after death. Ohh my God! A dead person can still take a revenge on his enemies then.
• It takes around 13 seconds for the fart to travel from your ass to the nostrils. So if you are a decent farter and you are in crowd, take a break go out, let it go and come and join the group after 14 seconds. If you feel that some one has farted, just go out for 13 seconds and come back.
• Farts can come blazing out of your ass at 7mph. Thank god Fart doesn’t travel as fast as sound or light.
• The  nerve endings in your rectal area help distinguish the difference between a silent Fart and a Poop. Silent Farters are an expert in this but some times they get confused between them and in the process of trying to suppress the sound of the fart end up shitting in his/her own pants.

 

Farters can be classified as two types. The Bombers and the Silent Types.

 

The Bombers: These type of Farters never care about the surroundings. They just enjoy the moment and let it go no matter what. They just relax their buttocks and enjoy the act. Its a nice way of letting out some steam. These types can also be called as Barking Dog never bites types. The Farts from these people are not usually accompanied by a horrible Smell, but they still are looked down as culprits.  The following video shows how the Farters of this type enjoy the moment. As I said, they never care about surroundings.

 

 

The Silencers: These are the most dangerous types. They are silent but deadly. They fart shamelessly with out any clue and try to prove that the other person as culprit. I fall under this category and my brother is the first one to catch me though I plan it very cleverly. He just catches with the smell, I will just avoid to fart when he is around. You can easily catch hold of these people. They are every where. In your project meetings, if you can see any person bending to one side in their chairs and letting it rip, then he is the guy. Another example would be When all your friends sat together and are cracking jokes together, if any one has the habit of the leaving the group, moving to a far-off place and come back and join the group after a gap of one minute, then you can be sure that he is the guy. Lifts and closed rooms are the most dangerous places to be when silencers  are around you. You can get suffocated with the pungent smell of the fart.

 

Wouldn't it be great if we could all stop getting so conscious and treat it like something as normal and just let it go. Like a flying kiss to the air, Like a hiccup you just can’t stop. When it has to come, It just has to come. Do not hold it up very longer. Just let it go.