I am a sweet man

I am a sweet man. I am a distant relative of Bat Man, spider Man, He-Man, Super Man, Iron Man. Like all of them, I have super natural powers. I can jump over the buildings, dive across the oceans, run along with deers, ride on the tigers. I tried wearing my underwear outside. Since it is pink, I changed my mind to wear it inside.

For those who might be wondering what is he upto, You heard it right. I am sweet, sugar coated candy man. I will always be in love with everything nice and sweet. In fact, the way I crave for anything sugary is something inherent and inescapable. This craving for sweet pleasure is accompanied by eating too many calories in general which made me gain all the weight. If you cut my finger and examine the blood for 5 secs, you could see the ants fighting for my blood.

Earlier whenever there was injustice prevailing in the world, a superhero has been born.Sweet Man is born to stop the extremely annoying mails which you get saying "SWEETS AT MY DESK, PLEASE COME AND HELP YOURSELVES". Even more annoying is when they type all caps. As soon as I see this mail, I rush to the cubicles just like the way flood victims or the refugees in a drought rush for the food packets.  My coleagues yelled at me so many times, saying Man, you'll be fat from all those sweets. I never listened to them. All I do is attack the sweets.

I have experienced this so many times, that I feel ashamed of myself now. I know I have been under diet control, these mails kept breaking my diet control. I have taken a oath couple of weeks back in front of my coleagues, that I would stop eating sweets. Soon after that, there is a mail saying choclates at my desk. I went and had them shamelessly and when they asked about my oath, I told them I just meant sweets not choclates. And then biscuits, then came my friends marriage. When my coleagues asked Did you have sweets at your friends marriage, I told them I had Ice cream. Without even me giving an explanation, they started making fun saying we know Ice Cream is not sweet.

When I started going to gym, I asked my gym instructor, How do I reduce my weight drastically. He told me cut down on the Cokes, junk food and you might just lose that gut you are always complaining about! So I stopped having soft drinks, tea, coffee in office. I told myself that sweets are never called junk food. But these spoiler mails are making sweet man gain more and more calories .

There is not even a single occasion which is spared.

1. "Back from home. Sweets at my desk." I didn't know that we are supposed to bring sweets after we are back from home trip.
2. "Home Made and Biwi made sweets at desk. Eat at your own risk". Why do females want a fit man, with a nice body, but when they have them, they stuff them with sweets?
3. "Back from US. Choclates at my desk." I never knew American Chocolates were so popular that almost entire office would ogle at every flavor on display. Now a days they are available in every big grocery shop.
4. "Found a new soul mate. Sweets at my desk?". Literally, what happened to the old one.
5. "Bought a new car. Sweets at my desk." Not sure what they are trying to say with this mail. May be you should drop me daily with your new car.
6. "Got Engaged. Sweets at my desk". This mail always annoys me more than every other mail, for the reasons unknown.
7. "Blessed with a baby. Sweets at my desk" A genuine mail to celebrate.
8. "Teachers Day. Sweets my desk." Thank God, I didnt get this mail for children's day, yesterday.

The foremost task of a sweet man is to stop getting tempted to those mails. I’ve kept a rule in my outlook engine which would begin deleting emails that contain the words “at my desk”.Next task is to send a mail to wider audience saying, "I know you people are extremely happy in distributing sweets and making other people jealous. But please excuse me from the list. I’m neither interested in extra calories nor a Sweet deficient. I already have enough of them".